How To Annoy The Cast Of Star Wars
by YOLO So Live Ninjago Style
Summary: Just some ways to annoy the cast of Star Wars. WARNING: MAKE SURE THE PEOPLE YOU ANNOY ARE DISARMED. VERY IMPORTANT! All rights go to George Lucas!
1. Anakin Skywalker

**Anakin Skywalker**

1. Ask why his eyes are yellow. (Revenge of the Sith)

2. Note that he is _way_ younger than Padme.

3. Say how great of a Master he was. Then run.

4. Ask why he isn't ranked as 'Master Jedi'.

5. Say that he's ugly. (RotS, and Return of the Jedi)

6. Ask why he's bald. Then run.

7. Say that he looks like Lord Voldemort.

8. Ask what happened to his arms and legs.

9. Say, 'Padme's getting married to Obi Wan Kenobi.' Then run and hide till' Anakin gives up trying to find you.

10. Say that he's perfect for Ahsoka.

11. Say that Leia and Hans are getting married, and that he's not invited.

12. Note the while doing this one, make sure Anakin's asleep. Draw on his face making him look like Leo Valdez from The Heroes of Olympus series.

13. Say that if Anakin uses lightning, he'll be as ugly as Darth Sideous. A.K.A. Darth Hideous.

14. Ask why he hates Jabba The Hutt.

15. Ask where his 'mommy' is.

16. Note that in "Attack of the Clones, and RotS, Anakin cried a lot.

17. Ask why he likes Padme.

18. Say that Anakin's a terrible father.

19. Ask why he didn't come to his own wife's funeral. Talk about bad husband.

20. Ask why he killed Younglings.

21. Kill Luke and Leia, then run and don't ever come out. _Ever._

**Any suggestions welcome for later chapters. **


	2. Ahsoka Tano

**Ahsoka Tano**

1. Sing: 'Ahsoka and Lux, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.'

2. Ask why she left the Jedi Order

3. (MY PERSONAL FAVORITE) Kidnap Ventress, disarm both, Ahsoka, and Ventress, then lock them both in a room together.

4. Say that she's weird since she holds her Lightsaber differently.

5. When Ahsoka is around, wonder out loud: 'Hm...I wonder when Lux is going to propose to Ahsoka...Oh hi Ahsoka!" Then run away.

6. Kidnap Anakin, and say that she'll only get him back if she confesses that she loves him, and not Lux. (Sorry Luxoka lovers!)

7. Keep her isolated for a month. (Togruta's live together)

8. Say that Anakin secretly loves her.

9. Tell her that Lux is joining Death Watch. (Again)

10. Say, "I wouldn't get to attached to that Master of yours." Then, when she asks you about it, pretend you're deaf. Then again, you won't need to pretend after she's shouted in your ears.

11. Say that Barriss was right to leave the Order.

12. Note out loud that Ahsoka was secretly plotting to over throw the Jedi. When she says 'no', just nod, and say; 'Suuuuurrrreeee.'

13. Ask if she has feelings for Obi Wan.

14. Say that Boba Fett loves Ahsoka. (I mean, like, who doesn't?)

15. Say that Ahsoka loves Plo Koon.

16. Tell Ahsoka that Padme is married to Anakin, Ahsoka's 'boyfriend '

17. Scream at the top of your lungs in her ear; 'Rotta The Hutt is dead!' When she asks what the he'll do you mean, walk away laughing.

18. Say that Lux and Padme, are now an 'item', and that Ahsoka should stick to Anakin.

19. Dare her to kiss Anakin.


	3. Obi Wan Kenobi

**Obi Wan Kenobi**

1. Say how Satine had loved him.

2. Then remind him that she died.

3. Ask why he has such bad relationships.

4. Remind him how Anakin turned bad.

5. Ask how Qui Gon died. Then run for your life.

6. Lock him and Darth Maul in a room together. Make sure that they can't kill each other.

7. Steal Obi Wan's Lightsaber, then blame Anakin.

8. Kill someone Obi Wan loves right in front of him.

9. Summon Lord Voldemort, then have Obi Wan fight him. Obi Wan hates to lose.

10. Mention that Obi Wan shouldn't have taken on Anakin as a Padawan.

11. Say that Obi Wan's gay for loving Anakin. (Even though he's not)

12. Ask why he loved Anakin. (Seriously?)

13. Casually mention that later on, Anakin killed Obi Wan. (RotJ)

14. Ask why he even bothered to help Anakin's kids.

15. Give him a Darth Maul tee shirt, them say, "Oops, I forgot!" Then run for your life.

**Give me some character names, then I'll write down the ways to annoy them.**


	4. Lux Bontari

**Lux Bontari**

1. Say that he kissed Ahsoka in a taunting tone.

2. Say that when he and Ahsoka get married, you'll be there to snap a pic for Facebook.

3. Ask why he liked that other girl.

4. Say that Ahsoka loves Anakin, not Lux.

5. Lux and Ahsoka, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

6. Ask how many kids he wants.

7. "Dude, Ahsoka is planning to propose!" When Lux get ready, say, "You didn't let me finish. Ahsoka's going to propose to Anakin!"

8. Ask why he likes Ahsoka. (Not that anyone could hate her)

9. "Separatist attack! Oh, never mind! It's just Lux!"

10. "Death Watch is breaking in! Oh, sorry Lux."

11. Ask why he kissed Ahsoka.

12. Get him to spill his guts for Ahsoka on video, the post the video online. Then run for your life.

13. Tell him that many people ship Luxoka. (Not me. Yeach!)

**All I could think of. Yoda is next!**


	5. Yoda!

**Yoda**

1. Lock him in a room with a very tall door handle.

2. Comment on his height

3. Ask why he's green

4. Ask why he's short

5. Casually ask if he's ever liked anyone

6. Say 'ANAKIN'S JOINING THE DARK SIDE!' When Yoda's meditating.

7. Step on him and say that you didn't see him.

8. When he talks to you, say, 'Do you hear that sound? I think it's coming from the ground.'

9. Bump into him, and say, 'didn't see you'.

10. When he talks to you, pretend you can't hear him.

11. Ask why he talks in riddles.

12. Say, 'Anger is a path to the good side, and calmness is the path to the dark side.'

13. Tell him that you're a Sith in disguise.

14. Say, 'Dude, you're old. Speed it up!'

15. Take away his lightsaber. It's like taking candy from a baby. (Get it? Since Yoda's so small, and- oh never mind!)

16. Lock him in his room

17. Put everything on the tallest shelf made.

18. Yell in his ear, 'THE SITH ARE COMING! THE SITH ARE COMING!'

19. Step on his foot.

20. Lock him and Darth Sideous, (A.K.A. Darth Hideous) In a room together with no weapons, force binders, and lightning binders. That way they can't kill eatch other. Oh, also tie them up, and put the key on the others side, so that they have to be nice to each other. Haha, like that'll ever happen.

21. 'Fear is good. Hate is good. Peace is BAD!'

22. (Last one. Maybe...) Say that he needs a breath mint.

* * *

**Next is either Asaj, or Mace Windu.**


	6. Asaj Ventress

**Asaj Ventress**

1. Say 'Get a wig!'

2. When she looks at you, scream.

3. 'Ahhhhh! Ugly, bald monster! Ahhhhh!'

4. Faint when you see her.

5. Pretend to look at your reflection on the back of her head.

6. Say that she and Mace Windu should get together.

7. Ask when her wedding with Count Dooku is.

8. Ask if you're invited.

9. When she screams at you to beat it, or go to hell, just laugh and say, 'You know, De-Nille isn't just a river in Egypt.' Then run, and hide for the rest of your life.

10. Say that she loves Count Dooku

11. When she says that she doesn't, say, 'Oh right. You love Mace Windu instead!'

12. Run off to Mace, and tell him that Asaj loves him.'

13. When Asaj comes after you, hide behind Mace, and watch them fight. It's fun, and educational. You learn new cuss words.

14. When Asaj gives you a death glare, just smile sweetly.

15. Forgive her when she kills everyone you love. Nothing will annoy her more.

15/16. Or say that it was an accident since she was so bad with a lightsaber.

15/17. Or say that since she had such bad eyesight, she mixed them up for someone else.

18. (Only for girls) Kiss Mace Windu, or Count Dooku when Asaj is around, then say, 'Oops, you weren't supposed to see that.'

* * *

**That's all I got. Next is Mace Windu**


	7. Mace Windu

**Mace Windu**

1. Ask why he's bald

2. Ask what happened to his hand. Then run.

3. Say that he should go get a wig

4. Mention that Asaj loves him

5. Ask why he hasn't proposed yet. Like, come on, they're perfect for eatch other! (Hint sarcasm)

6. Say that he should go wig shopping with Ventress

7. Casually note that Anakin plans to kill him in 27486 seconds.

8. Ask him if you're annoying him. When he says no, just say, 'Now am I?' over and over again until he breaks.

9. Say that he should really get a wig, cause kids like Star Wars too.

10. Scream 'Hideous, Bald monster!' Whenever he's around.

11. Say that he should get a mechanical arm like his good pal Anakin.

12. Ask why he hates Anakin.**  
**

**Next up is Darth Sideous**


	8. Darth Sideous

**Darth Sideous**

1. Call him Darth Hideous

2. Say that he's ugly

3. Say that Yoda rules

4. Say that Yoda could beat him with both arms tied behind his back

5. Say that he's a bad master for letting Anakin kill Count Dooku

6. Say that he's stupid

7. Mention that Sith's suck

8. 'Jedi rule!'

9. Tell him that the Sith will never rule

10. Say that he's lame

11. Mention how Obi Wan's so much better than him

12. Whenever he walks past, choke out, 'Darth Hideous'

13. Say that he belongs in hell

14. Say that he should be put in Slytherin (Harry Potter fans)

15. Say that Lord Voldemort's way better than him

16. Use the Cruciatus Curse on him

17. Use the ImperiusCurse on him, then make him say, 'I love Yoda!'

17/18. Make him slap himself

17/19. Make him hug Obi Wan and Luke

17/20. Make him kiss Padme (Sorry Padme!)

**Next up is Padme!**


	9. Padme Amidala

**Padme Amidala**

1. Say that she's older than Anakin

2. Say that she's just old in general

3. Say that she's ugly

4. Ask why she runs a stripper's club

5. Say that Palpatine loves her

6. Note that Obi Wan loves her

7. Say that Anakin loves Ahsoka, so she should just stop acting so desperate

8. Tell her that Anakin's going to marry Ahsoka

9. Note how she was super dramatic in like, _all_ the movies

10. Tell her that she sounded lame when she said, 'You're breaking my heart' in RotS

11. Say that Anakin and Obi Wan will never love her

12. Tell her that she wasn't there for her kids

13. Say that Leia and Luke are married

14. Say that Leia had a kid, but Ahsoka's the godparent (Burn!)

15. Say that Leia likes Ahsoka better than her actual *Gags* mom

**Next up is hm... let's see, how about Satine? Yeah, Satine. That'll be fun!**


	10. Satine Kyrze

**Duchess Satine Kryze**

1. Say that Mandalore is stupid.

2. Kill someone in front of her

3. Say that her grandson joined Death Watch

4. Mention how she died

5. Say that Obi Wan likes Shaak Ti

6. Say that Shaak and Obi are getting married

7. Say that they have three kids already

8. Say that her sister loves Obi Wan

9. Say that Darth Maul and her sister are dating

10. Destroy her city

11. Kidnap her, and then hand her over to Darth Maul

12. Say that Darth Maul has a 'special' present for her.

13. Kill Obi Wan (Good luck with that)

14. Say that Duchesses suck

**Next up is Darth Maul**


	11. Darth Maul

**Darth Maul**

1. Say that Obi Wan rocks

2. Mention how Savage Oppress died

3. Say that Ventress loves him

4. Threaten to cut him in half

5. Say that when Obi Wan cut him in half, he should've aimed for the throat

6. Say that he couldn't even beat Lord Voldemort

7. When he says 'who?' say that it's cool kid stuff and that you wouldn't expect someone so old to understand

8. Mention how crazy he was when Savage had found him

9. Ask if all red people have to be crazy and full of hate

10. Say that he's gay

11. Ask if he loved Savage

12. If he says yes, say, 'Yep. I knew it. Gay.'

13. Say that he should go and find Adam Lambert. (No offence of Lambert fans. I love his music!)

14. Ask if he likes Maroon 5

15. If he says yes, say, 'Sorry, Adam Levine's not gay. You should go to his brother though,'

16. When he tries to kills you, tell him that Obi Wan's on speed dial, and when you push this button, he'll come and kick some ass

**Next up is Shaak Ti!**


	12. Shaak Ti

**Shaak Ti**

1. Say that she and Mace Windu would be a cute pair

2. Or her and Rex

3. Say the Starkiller want's to see her for a moment

4. Ask her how she was killed (Multiple ways really. Go onto Youtube. You'll find them all on there)

5. Ask her if she and Starkiller have made up

6. Say that he loved her

7. Say that he reached out for her after her death

8. Shout out, 'STARKILLER LOVES SHAAK TI!' Then run before either of them have a chance to kill you

9. Ask how Starkiller is

10. Wonder if she and Gen. Grievous are friends

11. Tell her to 'Let It Go!'

12. When she says, 'Elsa fan much?' Say, 'No. That's all you.'

13. Ask her to marry Starkiller

14. Say that togruta's suck

15. Mention how Anakin tried to kill her. (Video game and deleted scene)

**Next up is Luke!**


	13. Luke Skywalker

**Luke Skywalker**

1. Ask how his father is

2. Shake hands with him,and ask why his hand is metal-ish (The Empire Strikes Back)

3. Mention how many times he kissed Leia. His own _sister_! (Did anyone else think that that was just plain _wrong_? Gross much?!)

4. Ask him if he loves Leia

5. Say, 'MARA JADE IS MARRYING HAN SOLO!' This will annoy both, Leia, and Luke. Bonus!

6. Say that the makers of Ninjago copied him, but made Lloyd much cuter. (NINJAGO FOREVER!)

7. Steal his lightsaber

8. Shout in his ear, 'DARTH SIDEOUS IS BACK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! HE'S TOO GOOD FOR LUKE! HE'LL KILL HIM! THE GALAXY IS DOOMED!' You should see how fast you can run first though...

9. Say that the Rancor's mother is paying Luke a 'special', visit

10. Tell him that Leia's having a baby shower, and that Luke's not invited

11. Mention how he saw his sister in a gold, metal, skimpy, bikini. I advise that you say this when Leia's not around

12. Show him the Bohemian Rhapsody Parody on YouTube

13. Show him the Moves Like Jabba Parody too

**Next up is Leia!**


	14. Princess Leia Skywalker

**Princess Leia Skywalker**

1. Ask how Jabba is

2. Say that she looked either, hot, smoking, or sexy when she was in that metal bikini **(Ewww!)**

3. Kill her kids

4. Kill Luke

5. Kill Han

6. Say that Luke wants to kiss her again

7. Show her all of the Star Wars parody's

8. Ask her how her dad's doing

9. Kill everyone she loves

10. Destroy any planet's that she likes

11. Say that Darth Sideous is back and going to kill Luke

12. Say that Han loves Chewbacca, not her

13. Say that Han prefers sluts

14. Film her in a bikini

15. Say that Hermione and Ginny are _way_ cooler than her (I hate Ginny. She's so not cool!)

**Next up is Han!**


	15. Han Solo

**Han Solo**

1. Hurt Leia

2. Hurt Luke

3. Hurt his kids

4. Kill his kids

5. Hurt Chewbacca

6. Say that Leia secretly loves Lando

7. Say that they're secretly married **(Padakin much?)**

8. Say that Leia works for Jabba

9. Mention how hot Leia looked **(Blech)** when she was in the bikini, and how Han couldn't see her

10. Say that Luke kissed Leia Last Friday Night **(Katy Perry fan right here!)**

11. Say that Leia's not pretty

12. Mention how many times Luke and Leia had kissed **(6 Times I think. Wow. George Lucas, that was_ so _wrong on _so_ many levels)**

13. Say that Chewbacca has a new best friend

**Next up is Chewbacca!**


	16. Chewbacca

**Chewbacca**

1. Kill Han

2. Say that Wookies suck

3. Hurt Han

4. Win at a game then hide your arms

5. Beat Chewwie at a game. He hates loosing

6. Call him a Sore Looser

7. Hide his blaster

8. Kill Leia

9. Kill Luke

10. Say that Luke is Han's best friend. Not Chewwie

11. Say that Darth Vader killed all of his Wookie friends

12. Say that Chewwie will be forever alone

**Next up is Darth Vader! Woo!**


	17. Darth Vader

**Darth Vader**

1. Ask why he wears that black outfit. So last season

2. Ask him how Padme is

3. Kill Luke

4. Kill Leia

5. Say that he missed Leia's and Han's wedding

6. Say that he wasn't invited** (Don't blame ya Leia)**

7. Say that his kids kissed

8. Keep pissing him off

9. Steal his lightsaber, then rig it so that it's blue. Leo Valdez style

10. Tell him off for loosing his 'saber

11. Say that his Lightsaber is his life

12. Go and find a pic of Padme

13. Show him the pic

14. Rip the pic up

**Next up is Captain Rex**


	18. Captain Rex

**Captain Rex**

1. Call him by his number name

2. Steal all of his weapons

3. Steal his armor

4/3. Color his armor bright pink

5/3. Put girly heart stickers on the helmet

6/3. Draw a unicorn on the body part

7/3. Return the armor, and blame Ahsoka

8. Say that Rexsoka sounds adorable

9. Mention how he got shot, cuz he's such a bad solder

10. Kill his brothers

11. Mention Order 66

12. Say that Ahsoka loves him

13. Say that Padme loves him

14. Say that Palpatine's looking for him

15. Mention how all his brothers turned bad

16. Say, "Wassup Stormtrooper?"

**Next up is Barriss!**


	19. Barriss Offee

**Barriss Offee**

1. Call her a Jedi betraying, friend leaving, Sith loving bitch

2. Say that she betrayed Ahsoka cuz she thought that she would never be as good as her

3. Say that she and Starkiller could be a cute pair

4. Ask how the Sith are

5. Scream, 'Oh no! An AT-TE!'

6. Say that she was a bad healer

7. Say that she was ugly

8. Mention how she had a crush on Anakin (Not true)

9. Steal her lightsaber, and turn it red

10. Paint her face to maker her look like a clown

11. Kill Master Luminara

12. Blame Barriss

13. Ask her how Ventress is

14. Color her hair bright pink

15. Shave her head

16. Say that Commander Cody loved her

**Next up is Shimi Skywalker!**


	20. Shimi Skywalker

**Shimi Skywalker**

1. Say that Qui Gon Jinn loved her

2. Ask who Anakin's father is

3. Say that Qui Gon will never lover her

4. Ask her how her_ kids_ are

5. Kill Anakin

6. Kill her husband

7. Mention old she is

8. Kill Qui Gon

9. Ruin her work place

10. Ask her how old she is

**Next up is Starkiller**


	21. Starkiller

**Starkiller**

1. Say that Shaak Ti loved him

2. Ask why he reached out for her

3. Say that he loved her

4. Ask him how his kids are

5. Kill Palpatine

6. Kill his daddy

7. Mention how he killed Shaak

8. Say that he's such a bad fighter, that he couldn't beat Voldemort in a slap fight

9. Say, 'Draco Malfoy much?'

10. Ask him how old he is

11. Say that he's a lot like the Malfoys. Dumb.

12. Say that Shaak committed suicide cause of him

13. Mention how he died

**Next up is Jabba**


	22. Jabba The Hutt

**Jabba The Hutt**

1. Ask why he's so slimy

2. Ask if he has diabetes

3. Call him a big bag of pudding

4. Call him a perv

5. Say that he's an ass. Literally.

6. Say that he's lame

7. Call him fat

8. Call him a jackass

9. Say that he's gay

10. Ask him how he died

11. Say, 'Sorry, what? Didn't hear you.'

12. Kill Rotta

**Next up is Lando**


	23. Lando (Whatever his last name is)

**Lando Calrissian**

1. Say that he's a traitor

2. Say that he's not cool

3. Say that you've got swag, and that he doesn't

4. Kill Han

5. Kill Leia

6. Kill everyone he loves

7. Ask how old he is

8. Say that on Dancing with the Stars he rocked the house. If only he hadn't had to forfeit...

9. Call him a jackass for letting Han get frozen in carbonate

10. Say that he and Leia were a cute couple

**These are all of my favorite characters I'm doing. Next up is Qui Gon!**


	24. Qui Gon Jinn

**Qui Gon Jinn**

1. Say that Darth Maul is back

2. Kill Obi Wan

3. Say that he's old

4. Say that you can't make it to his and Shimi's wedding

5. Sing 'Shimi and Qui Gon sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G-!'

6. Say that he was a good Master

7. Ask him why he looks like a girl

8. Cut his hair at night

9. Dye his hair pink

10. Show him the internet

11. When he asks what the 'net was, say, 'Oh yeah, old folk here.'

12. Ask how his mentor died

13. Say that it was his fault that Anakin turned to the Dark Side

**These were all of my favorite characters. I'll post new chapters once a week.**


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